Run, Forrest, Run!!

So, my half-marathon is in a month. Literally, a month from Saturday. My desire to finish this half-marathon in order to actually finish something successfully (unlike the bar exam) goes hand in hand with my quest for Total Hotness. 2 birds, 1 stone.

So, the other day, Crazy Running Friend was not feeling well so she canceled the 6 mile run we had planned for that evening after work. Now I was faced with a dilemma. Go to the gym after work, which I hardly ever do and can always talk myself out of, because THE ENTIRE FREE WORLD is there after work, or I could…run alone. Scary.

There is a long trail adjacent to the business park where I work. I have never run by myself. I have never run on this trail. Crazy Running Friend has a truckload of kids and is self-employed ~ she regales me with fun little anecdotes about projectile bodily fluids to keep me entertained while I am actively avoiding heart failure (otherwise known as running.) I had my Ipod with me, but would I have the motivation to keep running when I could just walk and no one would know it???? Do I take my phone with me? What if I am stabbed and left to die on the trail and my husband doesn’t know where I am?

So, I headed out onto the trail to run my 6 miles. I did it. I only stopped when I had to, like for oncoming traffic. My really cute, yet utterly inefficient and inaccurate pedometer indicated that I ran 6.72 miles, but it actually turned out to be 5.88 miles. Close enough for me.

But I ran into some interesting peeps on the trail:

To The Group Junior High Slackers Getting Stoned: Don’t bother trying to hold that joint like it’s a cigarette. I could smell it a mile away… I wasn’t born yesterday, Sparky, cigarettes don’t look or smell like that.

To Hot Young Girl Making Out with Weird Boy: Please, girl, pull your shirt down and don’t let boys feel you up in public. Not cool. When you are 30, you will tell your therapist that you felt dirty after doing this. Besides, now that he has gone that far, and you cut him off at 2nd base, you’re about 3 days from being dumped.

To Douchebag On The Cell Phone: Your wife is totally going to find out what you are doing and your life is going to suck hard thereafter. That grass over there on the other side? It’s not greener, my friend, it just has bigger boobs.

To Totally Fit Triathlete Guy With No Shirt On: I could hear your Ipod. Britney totally rocks.