Polyester Posse.

Dear Blonde Blogger,

Thank you for your recent letter containing suggestions for improving one of our new shows, Cashmere Mafia. While we would like to address all of your concerns in our response, frankly, the list was so exhaustive, we are just going to touch on the ones you specifically marked "Urgent: Must Address Immediately!"

First, while we sympathize with you that the "other show" you love is no longer on the air, unfortunately, since the season has already started, we will not be able to change the character's names to Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha.

Second, to answer your rather pointed question, no, we do not have a problem portraying assistants/secretaries as competent or good looking. Zoey's former assistant is arguably competent, she just makes bad decisions in her personal life, which gleefully resulted in a well-deserved promotion. And Mia's secretary is not fat, she is big-boned. And I am sure, as the legal scholar you proclaim yourself to be, that you are well aware that assistants/secretaries are not, in fact, a protected class, and as such, are not entitled to Constitutional protection. Good luck on the bar exam, by the way.

Third, in an attempt to appeal to the "real sistah's" as you call them, which presumably is the demographic we prefer to call "everyday women," we will take into consideration your suggestion that not every restaurant that the ladies frequent be a white linen, four-star establishment. Yes, there is a Baja Fresh location in Manhattan and we will make every effort to make our characters "real peeps."

Finally, NO, we blatantly refuse to change the name of the show to Polyester Posse. While we promise to work on Caitlin's intermittent Bronx accent, she is not "ghetto," nor are her clothes made of polyester.

We certainly hope we have put some of your concerns to rest and that you will continue to be an avid viewer of Cashmere Mafia. We are not currently looking for a legal consultant and please know that, going forward, any attempts to contact our legal department or enter the building in any manner, will be considered trespassing and we will avail ourselves of all legal remedies.

Thank you,

The People Who Bring You Cashmere Mafia.