Drink.Curse.Hate - Part II

So, after several painfully embarrassing conversations and meetings with both of my supervising attorneys, as well as their boss, the EVP and GC of the company, they have decided to let me have the time off that I requested so I can study for the bar exam. I am flummoxed as to why they put me through the paces; I felt compelled to stand up for myself and push back on some of the requests they made of me in return. For instance, in exchange for granting me the the time off to study, they wanted to "see how it goes" in terms of granting me the vacation time for the Spring Training vacation I had planned for March for the Perfect Husband. In response, I told them that no, I would rather not take any time off to study for the bar; it was not acceptable to me to cancel my March vacation, but thanks anyways. I told them that it has been a long time since I graduated law school and I have spent an obscene amount of time and money on the bar and I was certainly not going to let it affect my life to that degree anymore. So, at the end of the day, they agreed that I can have the time off to study, as well as the time off for the vacation in March with my husband.

So, the plan is that I will have Tuesdays and Thursdays off between now and the bar and the three days off for the bar. I will study all day Tuesdays and Thursdays and one day on the weekend. I know some may think this is not enough, but I have to work, at least a little bit. The last time I failed the bar, I was 12 points short; largely due to the MBE's. Accordingly, I will be concetrating primarily on the MBE's, spending two days a week on them and the other day on essays and writing. I am going to spend very little time, if any, on substantive review. Of course, I will review the subject matter outlines that I wrote for the past bar exams, so that random things, like the rule against perpetuities, will be refreshed. I deal with a wide range of issues and areas of law at work, and am hoping that will help me. I also think it's useful that I do real, honest to goodness, substantive writing everyday at work.

So, that's about it. I also have a completely different attitude this time around. I am going to pass. I have paid my dues and it is my turn. I used to think that I might have deserved to fail because of bad things I did or said to people in the past, or bad decisions I made for my family when all the family drama began. The failures were like paying back karma; the karma train was coming back around to get me. Well, the karma train has been back around to run me over more than once and I am done. DONE.

I have had some health issues recently and those seem to be under control now, and my concentration, energy and determination are better than ever. I have no guilt about putting my family drama on hold until at least March and I have no guilt about taking time off from work, even if part of it is unpaid. It is all about me. Me and my BFF, the bar exam. And I am so going to kick her ass.