10 Things I Am Learning While Studying Today.

10. My closet really needs to be cleaned out.

9. Do not ever buy a house and live on a golf course. You will likely become a hemophiliac to which the rest of the world owes a duty. Because, while sitting on a lounge chair on your porch, you will get hit in the head with an errant golf ball, a negligent ambulance driver will collide with something (most likely a bus full of small children) on the way to the hospital, where a doctor who is high on crack will leave a metal instrument inside you, causing permanent and irreversible brain damage, resulting in your severely diminished earning capacity as a nuclear physicist.

8. I am better at Torts than I am at Real Property.

7. One cup of coffee is not enough.

6. I would rather work than study.

5. Britney is doing much better in the hospital this time around.

4. I would rather work out than study.

3. The new black pants I got at Nordstrom are now too big around the waist. (See #4.)

2. One should always take advantage of one's right to remain silent; if you do not, you will inevitably voluntarily confess to a heinous crime.

1. I should have gone to beauty school.