The Good Barbie.

A lot of people, mostly feminists, have a problem with Barbie as a role model for young girls. I can see their point, with her anatomically impossible proportions, the Barbie Dreamhouse, the Barbie Dreamcar, etc. It might give girls the notion that as long as you are cute and skinny and blonde, then life will be full of great houses, cars and of course, men. It also might give young girls the idea that in order to have a fulfilling life, you need to have all these perfect, beautiful accoutrement's and a hot man to take care of you. Anything short of that will surely lead to a substandard existence.

But I think some Barbie's today are better than others in terms of providing a positive role model for girls. When I was growing up, I had regular Barbie's, with regular clothes, roller skates and a blow up swimming pool. Some of today's Barbie's are a little scary for me. Exhibit A:

WTF??? A NASCAR Barbie?? This particular Barbie comes complete with a monosyllabic, beer gut-having, Jaeger shot-doing, shotgun-toting, squirrel-hunting, 7th grade drop out boyfriend named Cooter, who is also her 1st cousin. They do not live in The Barbie Dreamhouse, but in The Barbie Double-Wide, with a hound dog and a 1973 pickup in the front yard that is inexplicably missing an engine. Oh wait, Cooter sold the engine to Bubba next door for some chewing tobacco. I don't know about you, but I think today's young women can aspire to more out of life than a dreary existence skinning squirrels and other rodents not fit for actual human consumption and nursing babies in bars. Consider Exhibit B:

Ahhhh, that's more like it. A nice, polite, educated, pink suit-wearing, manners-having, dog-toting, professional Barbie, who vigorously defends wrongfully-accused, former aerobics instructor sorority sisters and pushes through legislation for safe cosmetics testing. All of our daughters should be so successful! Her boyfriend might be a judge, senator, or lobbyist and he is bright enough to see past the shiny pink exterior and realize that she has a brilliant legal mind like a steel trap. This Barbie's boyfriend does not own any self-made hunting rifles, nor does he eat chicken-fried rodent.

So, not all Barbie's are bad role models, just some of them. I think the people over at Mattel need some fresh blood to keep the creative juices going because I fear we are scraping the bottom of the barrel here. How about President-Elect Barbie? Senator Barbie? Speaker of the House Barbie? Supreme Court Justice Barbie? All the little girls can hold senatorial hearings and practice their State of the Union addresses instead of just picking out a matching bra and panty set (although, I contend matching is important...starts the day off organized!)

I think I am going to email some suggestions for new Barbie's to Mattel. My first one is Unemployed Psycho Bitch Barbie Taking the Bar For the Second Time. Would you buy her? She has bad roots, she is a little heavier than the other Barbie's, she is a bit crabby, and she spends a lot of money, but she can analyze a negligence claim like NO other Barbie can!