12 Step Program for Paralegals.

Several of the bloggers I read that are in the same situation as myself have decided to pursue career opportunities outside of the legal field. Amen to that. I cannot speak for them, but let me just tell you how pissed off I was that I had to take that damn test again. And that I may have to take it yet again. The first time, I did everything I was supposed to do; I took Barbri, 2 PMBR courses, planned, organized, followed the Barbri schedule to a T, got a new computer so the old one wouldn't blow up during the exam, got everywhere early, etc., etc., etc. And I failed. I am bitter. The Bitter Blonde Blogger.

Consequently, I don't want to go anywhere near a law firm ever again. I do not want to be a lawyer or practice law or do anything hard that makes my head hurt and gives me stomach aches. Oh please, it's not like lawyers are happy people that stop and smell the roses. A lot of laywers I know are intense, mean, anger balls that are one alimony payment away from financial ruin and one Big Mac away from a heart attack. I mean, deciding NOT to work in the legal field after you have taken the bar twice, are mentally, spiritually and financially bankrupt, and generally want to stab the fuckwits that passed the first time, is not really that shocking is it?

But here is my problem. What else am I going to do? I am a paralegal. I am old. I have been doing this a long time. I can make a decent amount of money. There are a million things I would love to do, but those jobs will not pay the student loans I incurred to get my law degree.

I would love to work at a day spa, where everything smells nice and people whisper. I would love to work at the Coach store so I can get the discount. I would love to work at the MAC counter, except for that whole you-have-to-be-21-and-hot thing. I would love to work the front office at a plastic surgeon's office. FREE BOTOX!! Seriously, that is something worth pursuing right there. A lot of offices are open on Saturdays now, even if I do become a lawyer, I could do several hours on a Saturday morning to get that nice, expressionless look! All these jobs are fun and happy and the people are hot and you can play good music and go to Starbucks every half hour.

But alas, I am a paralegal. That is all I know how to do, so I am stuck. So, I think I am going to found PA, or Paralegals Anonymous. Hi. My Name is Blonde Blogger. And I am a Paralegal.