Houston? We Have a Problem, and She is Wearing Pampers.

Do not even get me started on this ridiculous, diaper-wearing, psycho astronaut. She has managed to make educated, intelligent women look like guests on the Maury Povich show. For all that women like Hillary and Condi are doing to portray women in a strong positive light, (regardless of how you feel about their politics) women like Captain Pampers here are making us look like unbridled disasters prone to histrionics. Emotional, hormonal disasters who are willing to throw away a distinguished career driving around the Space Shuttle...FOR A MAN!!

And where is the fantastic Captain HotPants these days? Have we heard from him? What exactly does he have to say for having a relationship with not one, but two women in the Space Program? There are only roughly 100 astronauts in the program in the United States. I have no idea how many of that 100 are women, but I would guess not very many. And he has to bang TWO of them? Both Nowak and Shipman claim to be having a "relationship" with him. I wonder what he would call it? "A Booty Call Out Of This World?" Literally. Can you have sex with zero gravity?

Here is my advice to Captain Hotpants: The astronaut schtick is gonna work for you. Really, you won't even have to try very hard. Go hang out in one of the little bars where tanorexic, silicone bunnies are jumping around to the latest Justin Timberlake, throw on your NASA jacket with your Top Gun shades and you could be blastin' off before last call. Leave the smart chicks in charge of driving around the 9 bazillion dollar Space Shuttle alone! They need to concentrate!

Nowak has a degree from the U.S Naval Academy in Aeronautical Engineering. I don't even know what that is or what it means, but I know it's hella hard and you have to be hella smart. Yet, here she is trying to off another smart chick because she wants Captain Hotpants. He is not worth it, my friend...go home with your special little ankle bracelet, take a breather, take care of your kids (because you know her kids are horrified to see the psycho-looking mugshot of her that they have on constant feed on CNN) and try to remember that you are more than what a man thinks of you.

And quit making even the smart chicks look bad!!!