No, Tyra, Kiss MY Fat Ass!!

Have you all seen this? This is Tyra's little meltdown about how the media thinks she's fat and is sssoooo mean and if she didn't have such healthy self-esteem she would be starving herself right now. Poor thing. The media takes unflattering pictures of her. And publishes them. Boo frickin' hoo.

If I wasn't studying for the bar, I might have some sympathy. No one wants to be told they are fat, let alone have really shitty pictures plastered all over the place. I get it. The media wants everyone to be skinny and perpetuates eating disorders and society's unending love affair with size 0. No, it's not healthy and women suffering from low self-esteem are vulnerable to the media's influence and will eventually succumb to an eating disorder. Yada, yada, yada.

Tyra, SHUT UP!! I have read about this crap in the news everyday for a least a week. No one really thinks you are fat and if you really have such great self-esteem WHY ARE YOU CRYING ON NATIONAL TV TELLING PEOPLE TO KISS YOUR FAT ASS?!?!?! I contend that if your ass were, in fact, actually fat, you would not be in such a hurry to vote yourself Queen of the Fat Asses Standing Up For Fat Asses Everywhere. As a fat ass myself, I don't need you standing up for me!

Don't we have more interesting things going on? We are still at war, right? I am usually not into watching that on the news either, but it's better than watching Whiny Fat Ass cry on TV. Isn't Gavin Newsome's affair more interesting than this?

And since I am actually studying for the bar exam, I will put this in a legal context for you. Tyra, YOU ARE A PUBLIC FIGURE. You have thrust yourself into the public eye, and in fact, have made millions doing it. You have no reasonable expectation of privacy in any picture taken of you anywhere in public at any time. Not even unflattering ones of you in an ugly bathing suit on vacation. You have spent the majority of your career being photographed in varying stages of undress and NOW you don't want your picture taken? Good God woman, stay your fat ass at home, take your show off the air, be a regular nobody fat ass and then you can sue the media outlets for invasion of privacy, intentional infliction emotional distress, defamation, false light and various other tort causes of action.

So, boys and girls, there is your Torts and Constitutional Law lesson for the day.